Experiment

Ranchi ki ek panch manzili building ki chat pe baith kar, Tanu ek alag hi duniya ka saraf kar rahi thi. Chehre pe aesi shanti aur khamoshi thi ki har koi use ek baar mehsoos karna chahe. Par asliyat mein andar jo dard ka toofan tha, voh sirf shayad Tanu aur khuda hi samajh sakte hain. Saamne soorjan apne sath poore akash ko gerua rang mein doobata ja raha tha aur saari buildings pe bache patang udate khushi ka indradhanush bana rahe the. Koi bhi aese nazare ko kyun mana karega, Tanu bhi nhi. Par us din uski nazar kahin aur thi. Samane ke ped pe baithi kai saare birds ke beech ek chota sa kabootar tha. Ek pankh kata hua tha to doosre mein lohe ka ek patla challa laga hua tha, mano us challe mein bediyon jaisi koi cheez laga kar uss nanhi si jaan ko bandh dia gaya ho. Akash jaise rang ke khoon ki boonde us challe ke konon se tapak rahi thi. 

Tanu vahan kareeb 15 min baithi...us kabootar ko apne pankh sehlate aur rote hue dekha aur jaise hi voh uthkar ghar janne ko tayar hone lagi...THATT!  Karke ek aavaz aai. Halki thi par kafi thi. Kabootar neeche ek gaadi ki chat pe gir gaya tha. 

Raat ko khane ki table par bhi Tanu ke dimag mein voh kabootar ghoom raha tha.

“Uska kya hua hoga?”

“Kya use phenk dia hoga?”

“Uske parivar ka kya hoga?”

“Uska yeh hashr kiske aur kyun kia hoga?”

Aur “kisi insaan ya kisi aur pakshi ne uski madad kyun nhi ki”? Aese saval usko baar baar pareshan kar rahe the aur isi curiosity ke sath use voh raat bitani padi.

Agle din Rana kaka jaise hi newspaper Tanu ki cycle ke carrier mein daba kar gae, vaise hi roz ki tahar Tanu bhaag kar akhbaar lene aai. Yeh uske routine mein tha ki newspaper cycle choote hi Tanu ke hath mein hona chahie aur seedhe dada ki table par. Dadiji ke jaane ke baad dada ka bus ek hi shauk tha - akhbaar. Aur voh bhi unki poti ke hathon se mila. 

7 baje ki chai ke sath dada newspaper padhne baithe aur paas hi mein Tanu apna school bag lagate hue gaane ka riyas karne lagi. Dada hamesha ki tarah Tanu ko news padh kar suna rahe the. Tanu ko news ka shauk nhi tha par dada ke muh se sunna acha lagta tha. Achanak se ek news sunte hue uske hath ruk gae.

“Ranchi ke grameen ilake mein prasidh cosmetics ki laboratory mein kal police ki raid padi. Sootron se pata chala hai ki wahan scientists pakshiyon aur janvaron pe ghaatak rasayaano se experiment karte the. Un pakshiyon mein se kai saare kabootar aur tote the jinke vocal cords nikal die gae the jisse ki veh chila na sakein aur unko udne se rokne ke lie unke pankh bhi kaat die gae the.”

Wahi khamoshi ek baar phir Tanu ke chehre pe cha gai. Usko apne saare sawalon ka jawab mil gaya. School mein teacher samne nuclear aur joint family samjha rahi thi aur Tanu uss kabootar aur uske parivar ke baare mein soch rahi thi. Uss paintaalees minute ke period mein Tanu ne kai saare vichaaron ko apne dimag mein ghar de dia tha. Jin Mein se ek uski umar se badhkar tha par uska apna tha.

“What if this entire world is an experiment in itself. What if we are nothing but subjects of this experiment...whose entire lives are already planned and happen under someone else’s control. Hum jinko God bolte h voh asal mein iss experiment ke scientist hain aur hamara sole purpose iss duniya mein unki hypothesis sahi prove karna h. Hum jo city ya mohalla dekhte h voh sab nakli h aur hamare aas paas ki har cheez uss experiment ka ek controlled factor hai.” Is thought ne uske dimag ko jakad lia.

Isi ke sath paintees saal ki Tanu roti hui uthi aur kareeb tees minute tak uske samne baithe uske therapist ne patiently uske shant hone ka wait kia. Hypnosis is used by therapists when their patients suppress their emotions so deeply that introspection or any other technique is no longer effective. It is when the patients need a real push to face the reality and their real self. It is used to make the patient aware of his/her unconscious self. 

Teen mahino se Tanu therapy ke lie aa rahi thi aur aaj pehli baar usne dekha ki voh kon hai. Duniya ke lie she was a full-time CA and a Human Rights Activist who had lost her father when she was 5 years old, her mother and grandfather in a car accident when she was 16, had an unhealthy marriage  and was a single mother, but the most educated person in her family and  the strongest person one can ever know, aur ab uska parivaar sirf uska 10 saal ka beta tha, par voh akeli thi. Usko hamesha se lagta raha ki uska apna parivar khona uske itne saalon ke depression ka karad tha par asli reason to bus voh kabootar aur Tanu ka apna ek chota sa thought tha. Tanu ne samajh lia tha ki duniya ek experiment hai aur saare log us experiment ke subjects. To agar koi mar jata h to voh bus is experiment se nikal gaya hai and that is not how you survive the world. Usne apne aap ko apni zindagi se alag kar lia jisse ki voh is rude aur harsh duniya mein survive kar pae. Although she accepted the ultimate truth of death, its reality was still faded in her mind. Hum kai baar grief ya depression ki vajah se practical aur emotional self mein se ek choose karte hain, as a coping mechanism. Yahan Tanu ne practical self choose kia aur apne emotions ko band kar dia jisse ki she was just a human existing and trying to survive the world instead of being a person and living it.

Kafi der rone aur apne therapist se baat karne baad, Tanu clinic se bahar nikli aur metro station ke ek book store se newspaper khareed kar smile karte hue metro mein padhne lagi.

Story by - Vasudha Sharma

Written on - January 26th, 2021

Hinglish short story